Visual Vocabulary: Impecunious
As in, "That saturnine old fart wouldn't stop regaling us with tales of woe from his impecunious youth. I bet he secretly enjoyed the taste of buttered nails."
Somehow, I think buttered nails would be more expensive than foraging for dandelion leaves or something—but it does sound WAY more badass, don't you agree? Mm mm. Love me a dish of mama's buttered nails.